Busy, busy, busy

Sorry it has been so long since the last post. We've had a lot going on with prepping for the baby's arrival, decorating the playroom (formerly the dining room) and getting Gabe's new room together.

Gabe is getting a new bed and we want to make it fun for him to sleep in. He really likes Dr. Seuss, particularly The Cat in the Hat, so we got Dr. Seuss/Cat themed sheets. We also purchased a new dresser for him to match that I picked out from Ikea. Here are some pics of him helping Craig put it together and one pic of the finished product:










We're also planning on painting his bedroom and the playroom, plus an accent wall in our bedroom. We will show the playroom when it's done, we've put a lot effort into it.

At the end of the month, Craig has a two-day conference in Seattle for his job, so we are going to make a trip out of it. We hope to visit some of Craig's family, if possible. Craig's Uncle Mark is having a birthday party the weekend before the conference, so we are making it out to that. Gabe has never been to Seattle so it should be fun. The hotel we are staying at is pretty next door to Pike Place Market, so that will be nice to take Gabe to during the day (in his stroller of course; gets pretty crowded there) and get some walking in for me. We will take some pics and put it on the blog.

I am 33 weeks and things are going well. It seems that just getting up, getting Gabe and myself both ready for the day, and making breakfast tires me out, seriously! I really miss being able to pick Gabe up, playing wild with him on the floor and other things that just aren't physically possible with a baby bump. I do what I can. Also, my mom's group has volunteered to organize a meal drop-off for myself and another member whose baby is due in April during the first few weeks after giving birth. I thought that was super thoughtful and really appreciate it.

I also want to have a birthday party for Gabe at the end of May. He hasn't really had a "real" birthday party (with friends and a theme, etc.) and since he now has several friends he can invite, I'd like him to have some fun this year. Now, since the baby will be just a few weeks old, this will not be a super complicated affair and will be short (two hours total, three year olds get bored fast). There are some fairly inexpensive venues around here that even include play areas. So if we can choose a venue (preferably with a play area) and establish a theme (Dr. Seuss is a strong contender), it will just be fun themed decor, cake, food/drink (pizza most likely), one theme related game (that either Craig or one of the Grandmas can lead, yes? My mom will be here during that time), and then some unstructured play, that would be great.

Hope everyone is having a good week!

Children and Emotions

Just read this really great piece from The Natural Child Project website called, "Emotions are not bad behavior."

She points out that children's "acting out" behavior is an indirect way of getting attention that they learn from their parents/caregivers. Naturally, children are open and direct. But if they are made to feel that they shouldn't ask for things, whether it's a hug, sympathy or just to be noticed, we've taught them to ask in other ways, i.e., "acting out." Hunts says that children who are denied attention for long periods of time end up never getting their fill, so there is the constant cycle of the the child having behavior problems and the parent constantly being vexed.

Then she goes on to list "empathy blockers". These are evasive tactics we parents use, many times inadvertently, to avoid dealing with our children's emotions. Check out the list and, I gotta tell you, we've ALL done at least one of these. One example is downplaying, saying, "Don't cry, it's not that bad." Seems like a perfectly harmless statement, but the goal is to change how the child is feeling, rather than letting them progress through their emotions and telling you how they feel and why.

Craig and I try to parent this way, but it's difficult in this culture. What I like to keep in mind, is that you will never do things perfectly every time. But be ready to apologize to your child, if you do make a mistake. It will also teach them to be ready to apologize to others when they make mistakes, too.

Anyway, I love this site. It has a lot of good information on childrearing with their main focus being respect of the child.

Luthisa Mayes 1921-2011

My maternal grandmother, Luthisa Mayes, passed away a few days ago. While she had tons of pictures of Gabe and had one video chat with him we unfortunately never got the chance to visit in person since he has been born. Ugh.

It has been two years since her son, my uncle, died from cancer and I don't think she ever really got over that. It is hard to lose a child at any age. Plus, she had a lot of health issues. But she lived a great life; 89 years ain't too shabby, is it? She was an awesome homemaker, raised five children and enjoyed tons of grands and great-grands AND great-great grands. She was kind of quiet-mannered, but did not have any problems speaking her mind (just ask my grandpa).

Both her and my grandfather (who is 95) were in a nursing home and he seems to be doing okay, I am told. I think he just needs a LOT love and affection, and I anticipate that in the future everyone will find time to visit him so that he gets a least one visitor per day.

So I am very sad, but happy that she is in a better place and not in pain anymore.

Breastfeeding article published

Here is the link to the breastfeeding article I wrote in November. It is in the January issue of the Portland Family Magazine.

A new dentist

We took Gabe to a new dentist today and things went extremely well.

He is having problems with 2 front teeth (one of them chipped about a year ago) and we have been going to this other pediatric dentist to get fluoride varnishes done. Only, Gabe hated going there. Would cry at the sight of the doctor. I found another one try, World of Smiles, and his experience was much better. Instead of "the chair" kids sit on a giant bean bag with all kinds of stuffed animals and a tv is mounted on the wall. Craig laid on the bean bag with Gabe and both the doctor and dental assistant also laid down down with him to do check his teeth and give the varnish. She also explained to us that she believes those teeth had developmental issue with enamel, since all his other teeth are fine.

She recommended filling one tooth and capping the chipped one, giving us two options: do it sooner and he'd have to have a strong sedative during the procedure OR do it in about a year and a half (during which he'd continue with fluoride treatments) and he'd just be administered nitrous oxide (laughing gas) which is much less invasive. They are very, very careful about the experience your child has and making sure there is no trauma.

We're still thinking about it, but I believe we are leaning towards waiting.

Here are some pics of Gabe after his dental visit, playing with the plastic globe ball he was given at the office (in addition to a little firetruck).





We have 3.5 months to go until baby # 2 gets here. I have been brainstorming about easy ways to wear and care for my hair during the first few months after giving birth. With Gabe, I had locs and it was easy to wash them and not take the time to twist the roots because it still looked ok. However, my naps are loose now and getting longer and need to have a game plan.

Lately, my routine has been washing and doing two-stranded twists, which takes me about two hours to do, wear them a few days, then wear a twist-out by unraveling them. Kind of a two style-in-one deal. This last time I washed it, I decided to try bantu knots again; I tried months ago, but my hair was a lot shorter. Doesn't take as long to do, about 10-12 knots), and the bantu knot out gives you really big hair. Like Tracee Ross big hair, lol. Look and hair definition of course depends of hair texture. Last night I redid them, doing only 6 knots, watering, moisturizing and oiling my hair and in the morning hair was dry and it looked nice. I think it's nice, anyway, :) Here is a pic.



I am so tempted to blow dry and flat iron my hair and see how long it really is, but I am very wary of heat because I don't want my curls to die and not revert after washing. At the very least, I may blow dry sometime this year, but I have no idea when.

Hope everyone is having a good week!

Cafe´post on YouTube video

Here is a link to a post on my Cafe´blog about a YouTube video circulating where an uncle is giving his nephew beating with a belt. Um, I do not agree with this just so you know!

Happy New Year!

I hope that everyone had a great holiday!

We had a very low-key Christmas and New Year's. I made a lamb and feta lasagna that was very good; the recipe is from Emeril. Deb, Craig's mom, brought over a salad and we had apple pie for dessert. Lasagna is Craig's favorite dish, so he wants this to be a Christmas dinner tradition now; a different type of lasagna every year.

Gabe got many nice presents, some of which still have to be bought since a few came in the form of gift cards and we have to decide what to get. Some include some cool games and puzzles we got from Lakeshore Learning. I got myself a new purse and wallet from Kohl's (it was on sale, woo-hoo!) and Craig got a pretty stylish messenger bag for work.

I am getting bigger and slower, lol. I continue to do a LOT of reading with Gabe or outings where he has lots of engagement to compensate for my lack of physical involvement. Storytimes and playmates are a lifesaver! He is also getting better at playing alone for longer periods of time.

We've been doing a lot planning in various areas with the house. We just bought new mattresses for our room and Gabe's soon-to-be room. We are also making the dining room a playroom for the kids, since we have a eat-in kitchen. Then, we are going to buy a few pieces of furniture for the living room, since currently that room is not functional (our tv and couch is in the family room).

Of course all of this is very budgeted and will occur over the course the year.

Craig and I have been thinking about what to do about education for the kids. We've been going back and forth on whether to homeschool or not (which would involve me not working outside the home) and we're leaning towards homeschooling, but are specifically getting interested in the concept of unschooling. This is where there is no curriculum and children learn by being involved in everyday life activities.

For instance, by simply baking a cake one learns math and chemistry (these are the two subjects that immediately come to mind, I'm sure there is more). As they get older, parents basically guide the learning experience by what children are interested in (maybe they really like comics, so they can create a comic or they want to create a video game, so they learn the programming language and other things that go along with that).

Speaking of education, I wrote a post on my Cafe blog about editors changing the n-word in Huck Finn to "slave" in an upcoming edition. I do not agree with this at all. Read here. There is also a link to the article about it in that post.